Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Gratitude Dinner Skit Ideas
Go here to view some of the skit ideas:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_EqbQgsuWzme8QV8-5Fu9hcARPr7HUksF8DENH8Ax7g/edit#
Or find a skit below:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_EqbQgsuWzme8QV8-5Fu9hcARPr7HUksF8DENH8Ax7g/edit#
Or find a skit below:
Thanksgiving Skits
Terri and the Turkey
By Wade Bradford
Stage Right: The humble home of Grandpa and Grandpa.
Stage Left: The animal pen.
Narrator: Thanksgiving. A time of joy and celebration. Of food, relaxation, and family. A day beloved by everyone. Everyone that is except… Tom Turkey!
(A Turkey named Tom walks on stage left, flapping his wings.)
Tom: Gobble, gobble!
On stage right, Grandma and Grandpa enter. Tom listens to them as they speak.
GRANDMA: I mashed the potatoes, I crammed the cranberries, I yammed the yams, and now it’s time for you to do what you always do on Thanksgiving Day.
GRANDPA: Watch football?
GRANDMA: No! It’s time to prepare the turkey.
TOM: Prepare? That doesn’t sound so bad.
GRANDMA: Prepare? That’s such hard work! I have to pluck the feathers.
TOM: Ow!
GRANDPA: And pull out the innards.
TOM: Eek!
GRANDPA: And toss him in the oven.
TOM: Oh my!
GRANDMA: But don’t forget. First you must chop off his head.
TOM: (Grabs his neck, fearful.) And all this time I thought I was going to be the guest of honor. (PIG enters.) I’ve got to get out of here! These people are going to eat me!
PIG: Oink, oink. Welcome to my world, buddy.
GRANDPA: Well, I guess I better get busy.
A happy couple, Mom and Dad, enter.
MOM and DAD: Hi Grandpa!
MOM: Happy Thanksgiving.
DAD: Is there anything we can do to help?
GRANDPA: I’m glad you asked that. Go out back and chop off the turkey’s head.
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DAD: Oh. I was hoping you would have me set the table.
GRANDPA: Too bad. Get chopping!
MOM: Be brave dear.
DAD: But honey, you know the sight of blood makes me queasy.
MOM: I’m needed in the kitchen.
DAD: Well, sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do--
(A son and a daughter (Terri) enter.)
DAD: Make his kids do the work.
SON: Hey Dad, is dinner ready yet?
DAD: Son, this is a very special Thanksgiving because I’m giving you a very special responsibility. I need you to chop off the turkey’s head.
SON: Gross!
DAD: And while you’re at it, pluck the feathers, take out the innards, and give it to Grandma to put in the oven.
SON: But – but – but…
DAD: Have fun, son.
The son turns to Terri, who has been engrossed in a book.
SON: Terri! Hey bookworm! Did you hear what Dad just said to me?
TERRI: No, I was too busy reading my history book.
SON: You mean you didn’t hear a single word Dad said?
TERRI: No. What did he say?
SON: He wants you to kill the turkey.
He pushes her toward the animal pen, then exits. Note: All of the other human characters have cleared the stage too.
TERRI: Well, I guess if we want a turkey dinner, someone has to do it.
Optional: She picks up a prop ax – make sure its something safe.
TERRI: (Approaching Tom) Sorry, Mr. Turkey. The time has come.
TOM: I – I – I feel faint!
The turkey starts to sway back and forth. He falls to the ground.
TERRI: Oh no! I think he’s having a heart attack!
GRANDMA: (Entering.) Who’s having a heart attack?
TERRI: (Checking the turkey’s pulse.) He doesn’t have a pulse.
GRANDPA: (Entering.) I don’t have a pulse?
TERRI: Not you, Grandpa. The turkey!
DAD and MOM enter.
DAD: Terri, what are you doing?
TERRI: CPR. I learned it in health class.
MOM: She’s such a good student.
SON: (Entering.) What the heck is going on?
TERRI: I think it’s working. Live, Mr. Turkey! Live!!!
(Optional: If you want to get really silly with this skit, the actress can pretend to use a defibrillator.)
TOM: (Coming back to life.) Gobble gobble!
MOM: You did it honey!
DAD: You saved his life.
TERRI: Yep. Now I guess I better cut off his head.
GRANDMA: Now wait, child. It just doesn’t seem right.
TERRI: You know, according to my history book, presidents such as Harry Truman and John Kennedy have spared the lives of their turkeys. And since 1989, the white house has been granting a presidential pardon to each live turkey that is presented to the president. Maybe this year we could do the same kind of thing.
GRANDMA: I think that’s a lovely idea. After all, one of the many things we should be thankful for is simply how many families have been able to have wonderful Thanksgiving dinners all because of this noble bird. Besides we have many other delicious foods we can eat. Yams, cranberries, freshly made bread, and mashed potatoes.
GRANDPA: That’s right, Grandma. Now, who’s up for some pork chops?
PIG: (Feeling faint.) I gotta get out of here!
The End.
GIVE THANKS TO THE GIVER – written by Tanis Harms
TOPIC: being thankful, sharing
SCRIPTURE: Gen.1:27-30, Ps.92:1-4, Zech.10:1,
. Phil.4:19
Style: allegory/conversation: someone
. tries to introduce other people
. to the one who is supplying
. all of their needs
Cast: PERSON 1-5 (1 and 5 are dressed in rags)
Set & Props: bench, ten big bags or baskets,
. 2 small bags, one sandwich
SCRIPT:
(PERSON 1 sits on a bench at center stage.
PERSON 2 enters from stage left and sees PERSON 1.
PERSON 2 approaches, carrying a basket.)
P 2 Thank you for always being right here
. where I can find you. And I must thank you
. for all the food that you have given us.
. I have brought at least a tenth of it back -
. to thank you. I mean, really, thank you, so much.
P 1 You are most welcome.
(PERSON 1 takes the basket and PERSON 2 walks away
towards stage left only to notice PERSON 3 and PERSON 4
enter from stage left and walk toward PERSON 1.
PERSON 3 and 4 stop to talk, so they are standing
in between PERSON 1 and PERSON 2.)
P 4 I am so hungry.
P 3 So am I!
P 4 Just don’t tell me that there are others
. who have it worse. I really don’t care about them.
P 1 (holds out basket) I have some food for you.
. As well as a job, a house, and some clothes.
(PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 completely ignore PERSON 1
and continue to complain.)
. 2
P 3 Right now, I’m really not concerned
. with anybody else. We just have to figure out
. a way to survive.
P 4 Doesn’t anybody care, anymore? I mean,
. what are we supposed to do?
(PERSON 1 walks a little distance away and sets
the basket on the floor where PERSON 3 and PERSON 4
can see it. PERSON 1 returns to the bench
while PERSON 3 checks it out.)
P 3 Oh, look what I all got.
P 4 It’s about time! I haven’t eaten in 6 hours.
(PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 exit stage right proudly
carrying the basket with them.
PERSON 2 shakes head in disbelief then exits,
returning with another two baskets. Approaching
PERSON 1, PERSON 2 sets the baskets on the bench.)
P 2 You have blessed me so much,
. and give me way more than I need.
. I am truly thankful.
P 1 I love people – I love you - and I enjoy giving.
(PERSON 2 begins to walk away toward stage left
and sees PERSON 5 enter from stage left.
PERSON 2 watches PERSON 5 look around.
PERSON 1 holds out a basket to PERSON 5,
who does not see this. PERSON 2 approaches PERSON 5.)
P 2 Do you see that person on the bench?
. He is holding out a basket of supplies for you.
. And in there is the best food a person
. could ever find, anywhere-
(PERSON 5 is scared, but still tries to look around,
never really looking in that direction.
PERSON 5 then shrinks back from PERSON 2.)
p 5 So you say. But I have found that
. you just can’t trust anything anyone says.
P 2 I can tell you from my experience 3
. that you can trust that person.
P 5 How do I know that I can trust YOU?
P 2 You could spend some time in getting to know us.
. You will see the evidence in my life.
P 5 I have other things to worry about.
(PERSON 2 sadly walks away, but stops to observe as
PERSON 1 places a basket on the ground close to PERSON 5.
PERSON 5 eyes the basket suspiciously.
PERSON 1 then places a basket more to stage right’s side
as PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 enter. Seeing the basket,
PERSON 4 picks up their basket.)
P 4 Can you believe our luck these days?
P 3 It’s NOT luck. It’s all our hard work.
. I always wanted to be this rich.
P 4 I actually want to be richer.
P 3 Me too! Hey, look, another opportunity!
(PERSON 3 sees the other basket and snatches it up
just as PERSON 5 is about to take it.
PERSON 2 gasps.)
P 3 (to P 5) What? Are you expecting handouts?
. Go get a job!
(While PERSON 5 sadly sinks to the floor to sit there,
PERSON 2 approaches PERSON 3 and PERSON 4.)
P 2 (speaking nicely) Don’t you know
. that all of what you have,
. comes from this person over here?
P 4 (without looking) I don’t see any person.
P 2 Without him, you would have nothing.
P 3 We work very hard to collect all of this.
. And it’s all ours.
P 4 I think someone here is just jealous. 4
P 2 I am truly content with whatever I have.
. And I am very thankful for the one
. who supplies all my needs.
P 3 (patting P 2’s shoulder patronizingly)
. And you just have fun with that.
P 4 We’re good. We don’t need anybody’s help.
(PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 exit stage right.
PERSON 2 looks at PERSON 5 with compassion
then exits stage left. PERSON 2 enters with
2 more baskets and brings them to PERSON 1.)
P 2 I cannot stop thanking you for what
. you all do for me. I only hope
. that I can be just like you.
P 5 (loudly) Who are you talking to?!
(PERSON 2 walks over to PERSON 5.)
P 2 Can you not see him?
(PERSON 5 continues to face forward and talk.)
P 5 You keep bringing stuff to that bench.
. What good does that do?
P 2 It does a lot of good.
(PERSON 1 places a basket on the floor at stage right
and then places 2 baskets near PERSON 5.
PERSON 2 motions to the baskets nearby.)
P 2 Look. If you would just acknowledge
. the person on the bench
. and all that he gives you-
P 5 I don’t see him giving me anything!
(PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 rush on and grab all 3 baskets.)
P 5 All I see is injustice.
(PERSON 2 pulls a smaller bag out of their pocket 5
and gives it to PERSON 5.)
P 2 Let me give you something from my portion.
. Just know, that this has all come from
. that person over there.
(PERSON 2 exits stage left. PERSON 5 opens the bag
and finds a sandwich. PERSON 5 carefully bites into it
and discovers that it is very tasty.
PERSON 5 begins to eat with more and more passion,
then glances over their shoulder at PERSON 1,
then goes back to the sandwich. PERSON 2 enters again
with 4 baskets this time and gives them to PERSON 1.
PERSON 1 then goes to hold out a small bag to PERSON 5.
PERSON 5 takes the bag slowly, gratefully, thinking.)
P 5 Thank you. I, ah-
(As PERSON 5 now looks up at PERSON 2, PERSON 5 now
sees PERSON 1 holding up a basket to them.
Quickly getting up, PERSON 5 rushes over to PERSON 1.)
P 5 Thank you.
(PERSON 5 holds out the small bag. PERSON 1 accepts it
with a smile.)
P 5 This is everything I have, and it’s probably
. not enough. I want to give you everything
. I do have - myself. How can I help?
P 1 These baskets can be delivered to the
. following addresses.
P 5 Thanks for letting me help out.
(PERSON 2 rushes over.)
P 2 I would like to help, as well.
(PERSON 2 and PERSON 5 take three of the baskets and
exit stage left. PERSON 1 takes the small bag and
places it on the ground as PERSON 3 and PERSON 4
enter from stage right. Looking around, all they see
is the small bag. PERSON 3 picks it up with distain.)
P 3 What is this? That’s it? 6
P 4 Wait, what happened to all our riches?
P 3 Don’t ask me!
P 4 Did your luck run out?
P 3 I don’t understand this at all.
(PERSON 1 holds out the basket to them, but
PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 refuse to acknowledge this.)
P 4 Well, if that guy on the bench really DOES exist,
. then I really hate him!
P 3 Same here! Come on!
(PERSON 3 and PERSON 4 storm off stage.
PERSON 1 continues to hold the basket out.)
LIGHTS FADE.
JOKES
1-Guys, guys, I'm looking for a joke for ______ Meeting- Does anybody have an idea?
2-How about my pizza joke?
1. OK let's hear it
2. never mind, it's too cheesy
3. I know, I've got a joke about tortillas
1. all right. Let's hear it.
3. Ahh. No. It's too corny
4. I have one about echoes
1. sure, let's hear it
4. Well I can't repeat it
5. Have you heard the story of the germ?
1. I don't think I so
5. Too bad, I don't want to spread it.
6. Hey I know: what sound does a giraffe make?
1. dunno what?
< smack, smack, smack > (make large eating motions with lips
Different Styles
This skit is actually several skits in one! The same exact skit is played out in several different ways, as dictated by the DIRECTOR. You can do as few or as many as you want!
ACTORS
This skit requires 5 actors:
1 Eater
1 Baker
2 Emergency Workers
1 Director
Supplies:
As many as you need based on the number (and type) of skits you choose to do.
DIRECTOR: OK. OK. Quiet on the set! Baking A Cake, Take 1. Action!
BAKER: (humming to himself in a drab tone)
EATER: (walks up to the Baker and in a monotone voice asks) What are you doing?
BAKER: (in an equally monotone voice replies) Baking a cake.
EATER: (in the same monotone, unexcited voice) Can I have some?
BAKER: (monotone) I guess so.
EATER: (takes some of the cake in his hands and puts it into his mouth, chews it a little, then in a monotone kind of voice) I’m dying. (Eater then falls to the ground.)
BAKER: (picks up the phone and calls 911 in the same monotone voice) You’ve got to come help me. My friend just fainted. (Emergency workers come walking slowly into the room.)
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (monotone) It does not look like he is going to make it.
EMERGENCY WORKER 2: (monotone) Actually, he just died.
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (monotone) Then he is definitely not going to make it.
DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! This is all wrong. You guys are just way too amped up! Let’s change it up a little. I tell you what. Let’s do the same scene again, but this time, let’s do it Kung Fu style. (all actors resume their pre-scene placement) From the top. Quiet on the set. Baking a Cake, Kung Fu style, Take 1. Action!
BAKER: (singing to himself) “Everybody was kung fu fighting…those cats were fast as lightning”
EATER: (walks up to the Baker, bows low, and in a distinct Asian accent asks) Master Baker, what are you doing?
BAKER: (in an equally Asian accent replies) Baking a cake, grasshopper.
EATER: (in the same Asian tone) May grasshopper have some?
BAKER: (Asian tone) Hyi grasshoppersan, you may have some cake.
EATER: (takes some of the cake in his hands and puts it into his mouth, chews it a little, then in the Asian voice) Grasshopper not feel so well. (Eater then falls to the ground.)
BAKER: (picks up the phone and calls 911 in the same Asian voice) Come quick! Grasshoppersan need help! (Emergency workers come running quickly into the room and bow in front of Baker first, and then bows in front of Eater.)
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (Asian accent) This tiger is crouching low.
EMERGENCY WORKER 2: (Asian accent) So sorry! The dragon is now hidden.
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (Asian accent) Wax off, Wax on. Crouching tiger, long gone.
DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! This is all wrong. My bad. I tell you what. Let’s do the same scene again, but this time, let’s do it as a Western. (all actors resume their pre-scene placement) From the top. Quiet on the set. Baking a Cake, Western style, Take 1. Action!
BAKER: (yodeling to himself)
EATER: (walks up to the Baker and in a southern draw asks) Whatcha doin’ cookie?
BAKER: (in an equally Western accent replies) I’m fixin’ to bake myself a cake.
EATER: (in the same slow draw) Reckon I could git me a piece a that thar cake?
BAKER: (Western accent) Reckon so.
EATER: (takes some of the cake in his hands and puts it into his mouth, chews it a little, then in a Western kind of voice) I’m a dyin’ man! (Eater then falls to the ground.)
BAKER: (picks up the phone and calls 911 in the same Western voice) Ya’ll git on over here! My pardner just tuckered out on me. (Emergency workers come walking briskly into the room.)
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (Western accent) Looks like he’s ridin’ off into the sunset.
EMERGENCY WORKER 2: (monotone) Happy trails pardner.
EMERGENCY WORKER 1: (monotone) Git along little doggy.
DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut! That was it! Perfect. I knew you guys had it in you. Thanks to all of you on the set for remaining quiet. That’s a wrap. After lunch we will shoot the scene where the rabid octopus attacks the lovable poodle.
NOTE: Feel free to make this longer as you have need. The more props you can add to each of the different scenes, the better.
Banana/Bandana
You need two actors for this. It can be done with 2 boys or 2 girls or one of each. One of them needs to be willing to get a little gross. Also, you will need two cell phones, a couple of toys (like action figures), a bandana, a drop cloth, and a banana. Open the scene by having one actor on each side of the stage kinda turned away from one another.
JOE: (seated on a drop cloth playing with action figures and a banana) Oh no Spider Man, look, it’s the banana of death! He has come to destroy us. Aaauuuugggghhhh! (continue to banter back and forth between the heroes and the evil banana)
RENE: (is happily playing with a bandana enjoying folding it) Hey, I should call Joe! (she picks up her cell phone and pretends to call Joe by punching numbers and making a ringing noise)
JOE: (picks up his cell phone) Yo…Hello!
RENE: It's Rene. Where were you today?
JOE: I was sick.
RENE: Sick?! Yeah right. What did you have?
JOE: Um…I…Uhhh…I had Ganoderma Butt Rot. (an actual palm tree disease)
RENE: Whatever! You missed some really fun stuff in school today.
JOE: Oh yeah? Like what?
RENE: We learned how to fold bandanas.
JOE: Bananas!? (strangely looking at the banana he is playing with) How do you do that?
RENE: Well, first you have to have and bandana.
JOE: I actually have one right here! Go ahead and tell me. (Make sure he is seated on the drop cloth to contain the mess.)
RENE: Ok, but first let me put you on speaker phone (press a button and then lay the phone down) You start by taking the bandana and making it nice and flat.
JOE: Um…ok. (he tries his best to flatten the banana by pulling it out of its peel and using his hands to smack it flat)
RENE: Ok, now you fold it from one corner to the next so that it looks like a triangle.
JOE: Alright….ummm...but…(he folds the banana as best he can)
RENE: Now you put it on your forehead with the point of the triangle towards the back of your head.
JOE: (look as if he is scared) Are you sure about this?
RENE: Yes, yes. Now tie a knot in the back, behind your neck. That’s it! Isn’t it fantastic!!
JOE: (after he puts the banana on his head he becomes sorely UNDERimpressed) So let me get this straight, all you learned how to do in school today was tie a stupid banana around your neck? (make sure to emphasize the word banana)
RENE: (not understanding) Banana? I didn’t say banana, I said bandana! (emphasize the word bandana)
JOE: (embarrassed) Uh….(making a static-y noise)…you’re breaking up….I’m losing you…(runs off the stage)
RENE: (chuckling) Banana. What an idiot! (walking off stage) Where did he get that idea from?
“Not My Arms” Grocery Skit
This skit requires three people and a few props, a long table set up to look like a grocery store checkout counter. Also, a vest or apron for the checkout guy. The grocery clerk stands behind the table/checkout counter with his arms behind his back. Another person is behind him with their arms around checkout guy. (Checkout guy doesn't use his arms during the entire skit. The person behind him is his arms - great if you can rig a shirt that the checker wears, yet the person behind sticks their arms through).
The skit begins when a lady comes up to the checkout counter with several items she wants to purchase. (Choose a wide variety of items...bread, potato chips, toilet paper, broccoli, eggs, etc.) The check out guy is rude and clumsy. He smashes the bread while he is bagging, opens the bag of chips and begins to eat them, breaks some eggs, etc.you get the point. The lady is very upset, asking for the manager, etc. The skit is completely ad-lib. Make it up as you go along. What makes it so funny is the check out guy has no idea what the guy behind him will do next with his hands...Be sure to spread a drop cloth...the more messy it gets, the better the kids liked it... We ended the skit by having a manager type person come out and break up an ensuing brawl between the checkout guy and the customer.
Stuck Sisters Skit
This skit-game is only as good as the person leading it. Bring a few pairs of kids up front. Have an XXL t-shirt for every pair. Have them both get into the t-shirt and do specific tasks that you ask them to do. You can do this in a skit-like format. You can read a story and have them act it out. (e.g. "Once upon a time the Stuck Sisters got up from a good night's sleep. They immediately decided to do their morning exercises. They started with toe touchers. Then push ups . . . now they need to brush their teeth with their one tooth brush . . .") Fun to watch!
Things You Can’t Do…
Here’s how it works. You have one actor and one inanimate object such as a chair, log, etc. Then have various situations that pertain to things you can't do with that object. For example...have a chair placed in the middle of the viewing area. Then announce, "Things you can't do with a chair." Pause for a second and then say whatever the event is such as "Dodge ball". Then throw the ball at the chair as hard as you can. Other ideas are driving, meeting girls, wrestling, etc. The more animated the actor is the funnier it is.
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